justanoutlet

sometimes i just think, how did it come to this?
started out as acquaintances
then friends
then into this horrible mess of confusion
i'm sorry if i seem to rush things
that isn't what i want to do
so if possible
let's just forget the past month or so
forget the hurt
forget the confusion
and remember the good times
before all this
you say i rake up the past
that's cos the past was happy
and i just want to go back to that
you say i cherish my friendships
i do
a lot
God, family, friends
God and family are always there
but friends, they come and go
that's why i cherish my friendships

it just feels so weird. and i don't know why. maybe i do, i just dont want to face it. i have no idea. what happens from here. do we continue talking everyday and just... be all cold and stuff? i'm trying to lighten the mood, but it always seems to go downhill. maybe it's cos you're sick. yea.

can we just concentrate on friendship now, and nothing more? let's not complicate things further.

if you must know, everyone says i should 'cease and desist'. that i shouldn't be initiating conversations. some even said i should be getting rid of your number and msn to that i won't be tempted to call or sth.

don't worry. i didn't tell the whole world or sth. just my close friends. and their advice was more or less the same.


"And to you, :) please do not be silly. Nothing will affect this friendship. Unless of course you kill my parents and like my siblings. Then you can forget about being even a stranger to me. Haha. :\ Okay, seriously, that was very sweet. Thank you. :D But don't worry lah! I'm glad we share the same sentiments as to not wanting a ruined friendship. That's all that matters for now right? Building up on a special friendship? :D"

whatever ever happened to that?
please tell me what you're thinking of and... what you want.

barrierstoentry

it seems so distant. like there's a barrier. of maybe it's just the piling up of work. one-line answers. short. curt. indifferent. at least, that's how it looks. or perhaps it's just the emotionlessness of technology. you never really know how the person on the other side it truly feeling.

1142. time to sleep. gdnite world. "ya".

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. thank you. goodnight.

whiteflowers

i'm feeling... sad. blaah. am i important? I... i don't know how to put this down in words. i don't know if i even want to or not. why is life so complicated. sometimes, it sucks being small. ok so not sometimes, but most of the time. there's always this sense of inferiority. and like, it's not like i can help it. i've kinda gotten used to it, but it still sucks. like no matter how hard you try. you can't put on mass. you take the damn drink. and it doesn't really work. you work out. you grow a bit. but like, the strength is there, but not the mass. and it sucks. in this world where looks are paramount, it sucks. sigh. no one should see this. but i want them to. i want them to know how i feel. sigh, this blog is like, just an exhibition of my vulnerable side. my fears. my weaknesses. my inferiority complex. monsters from my past coming back to haunt me.

i wish i didn't know. that we could just go back to the start. when i was none-the-wiser. but at the same time, sigh i don't know.

ok bye. i'm just a depressed loser now. thanks. bye.

tearjerker

i'm confused. why? cos of the entries. why? i don't know if they're meant for me. pull away? from me? or someone else? sigh. i don't know if i'm going to regret posting this up. and i won't ask abt the previous entry =) but yea, it would be nice if you told me how you feel =)

The stars still spell out your name

I will wait for you

dragonflywings

thank you for sharing =) and i'm sorry i don't know what to say to make you feel better. it really hurts to see you so hurt. don't think so much about it. and please don't think so lowly of yourself. you're a really good person, even if you may think otherwise.

feeling lost? so am i. oh well.


laadeeda. such is life.